I wake up. My right eye is so filled with gunk I can't even open it.
I rub the shit out out it, sit up, and jump as if I sat on a hot poker. That Hemorrhoid is still there, meaner than a backyard dog. I ease out of bed and I am high. Early Morning Head. AND I'm not talking about the one that you can get your girlfriend to perform for you in the morning, but rather that brain bent out of shape because you're only half awake, Morning Head. So cool. I look at the clock, 7:48. I have to be in downtown Manhattan by 9:00. It takes about an hour to get there on the way. Hmmmmm, should I sit this down and call it in...Naaaaahhh!
I get my ass in stupid motion! I dress like the flash, put my computer away, take ALLLL of my meds and mad BOLT out of the door. I cut a flametrail to the way, and for the first time ever, the number one train was just sitting there doors open liked a hottie with her legs spread apart, waiting for me; and I say 'waiting for me' because soon as I walked in and sat down the doors closed and the train was off. Yes, but that wasn't half as incredible as this motherfucker zipped downtown and didn't sit between stations for the usual traffic ONCE.
I was standing in front of The Roach Motel with ten minutes to go. I had to wait outside, I was so early. Thats alright. When they did let us in, I was the first one in the office, whose waiting room usually has up to about fifty people in it, and this time I was the first one on the list.
I find a room EMPTY. How wonderful is that. No screaming, no babbling, no loud people on cell phones. Nothing! In five minutes my name is called and I am escorted to the cubicle, sorry, not office, cubicle of my Interim Case Supervisor. They tell you their goofy titles as if matters to you. So now you can boss three people around instead of two, it's meaning- less to me. We go into my case and we get to the first thorny issue that we will fight over. If this place is WECARE or not. The second is that Dr. A. does not pick my doctors, I DO. She lost her cool on both of these. Heh Heh. In disgust she tells me shes referring me to her, Wellness program, I'll get a letter in the mail.
Now heres, the rub. These Fucknecks put me in the VOCATIONAL program. I've been telling them that I want to go to the WELLNESS program. This is the sole reason that I opened my Fair Hearing against them. Now they are just calling me in and giving it to me. What kind of shit is this? Now when I walk into that courtroom what am I going to say? That I want to be put in what I'm already in? Here's something new, remember that WECARE and Fair Hearing are arms of the same beast, HRA. Could they be in communication with each other? I mean, this woman was asking me questions related to my case. She even asked me directly. This is sounding like I'm already caught in a web folks, I'm just too stupid to see it, I can only feel it.
That's alright. I'M IN THE WELLNESS PROGRAM!!!! Not that fucked up Vocational sit on your ass all day and read books and newspapers, and get moved from room to room like a school. I don't have to see these people tomorrow. How right can a day get? HOBO 2, WECARE 0! And then I notice it. I have been operating in a fog. A literal disjointed world. My Early Morning Head was still on my shoulders. This was the first time that I was aware of it, but I had it all morning long. A swimming feeling, removed from reality feeling. Also, the shakes were bad, and I was getting tics from time to time.
Something could be wrong. I have to talk to my psychi- atrist, Dr. W. next time that I see her. I take the Way, and the minute I get on the platform, the 1 train pulls in. The doors open. There nobody in the car. Let me repeat that. There is nobody in the car! Fuck me! Well, I take my Head home.
Once in my room, the Head is worse. It's as if I've been drinking all night long. A heavy hangover. I took my pills this morning, what could have happened? I sit down to write a climatic scene, and I do it through this purple haze. Whatever is going on here, I'm going to find out. Shit, everything seems to be stemming from the Head. I get tremors were its difficult to type, a powerful case of forgetfulness (I've been functioning under that all week though).
Whatever. I yawn. I hope I break this Head by tomorrow. But I DID have a primo day today. It was so 'choice'. Trains running right , being around noisy Earthlings, NOT, besting Evil people from the CubicleWorld, oh yeah gang, the higher up they are, the more nastier to their staff they are. Give those people a fireworks show by making their boss look dumb. They could use it on a tough morning.
I make dinner, Ramen Noodles. Why? Because it the only thing left in my cupboard! Besides, its my favorite, hot, spicy chilli flavored, and covered with tons of black pepper. This shit wakes you up. Why the fuck am I telling you this? You'll find out later.
My ass gets to writing. I'm somewhere in the 800's. I realize something as I sit back. I could very well end Book Two at 1,000 pages or just shy like Book One was just shy of 500. I can't believe that I did it. I am so proud of myself. I stayed dedicated to something long enough to almost finish it.
I'm dedicated.
HobobobSource URL: http://idontwanttobeanythingotherthanme.blogspot.com/2009/10/flawless-victory-partially.html
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