A Mouthfull of Thanks

Thanksgiving.

I dug in. That's right, I became a bug in a rug. Snug. I didn't move from my chair even though I was invited out to Thanksgiving dinner. Well, it's not that unreasonable why I didn't go. Firstly, I'm socially phobic for all of your new people out there. I hate crowds of people. Just can't stand it. I'm not good with numbers over five or six. When it gets higher, I come apart, until it gets into the stupid figures, like rush hour crowds. Then I get comfortable again. It's easy to get lost in crowds. There is a level of anonymity in numbers.

Well, the number of people going to this affair fell right into the stress figures of my mind. Twenty two. This spells mortal terror for me, unless I'm reading poetry...go figure. Yet, I need you to understand, I was so stressed about going to Thanksgiving dinner the next day that I could not sleep that night, so I woke up with a half hour to get up get ready and get out. I thought about it. I have no clean clothes. I have not did laundry in awhile and laundry day is Friday, or maybe even Monday. Most likely on Monday. So, I didn't have any clean clothes to wear to the dinner.

But that's alright, a good shower and that should do it. I hop into the bathroom and turn on the water, and there is no hot water. It's all cold, from top to bottom. That's great. No shower today. Well, that just tore it. I'm staying in and enjoying a nice Thanksgiving with my shadow, my closest friend right now. That way, if I smell, I have no one to offend but myself.

I make a SpermHam and cheese sandwich and relax in my chair, typing, editing and reading Facebook feeds. I have no clue how to use Facebook other than to stare at the feed. I didn't blog though. I don't know. I didn't think that I had much to say about the day to be thankful for. I read a comment on the facebook page where someone said:"...and is not celebrating the annihilation of Native Americans who's land was also stolen."

I didn't think of that. The wiping out of the American Indian who came up to the settlers with maize and pheasant or whatever bird they were eating back then, turkey or not. Of course I had to do some Internet research on this issue because I am always on the Internet and it's the thing to do when you have nothing else to do. The Internet says:


"It is said that Pilgrims [learnt] to grow corn, beans and pumpkins from the Indians, which helped all of them survive . In the autumn of 1621, they held a grand celebration where 90 people were invited including Indians. The grand feast was organized to thank god for his favors. This communal dinner is popularly known as “The first thanksgiving feast”. There is however, no evidence to prove if the dinner actually took place."


And as for the turkey, it says:


"There is no evidence to prove if the customary turkey was a part of the initial feast. According to the first hand account written by the leader of the colony, the food included, ducks, geese, venison, fish, berries etc."

So there you have it. The American Indians helped the settlers to survive, and get a foothold on the Americas, and the settlers in turn wiped out the Indians. But I think we fail to realize, if we think like this, that those who celebrated their thankfulness for surviving were NOT the rapacious ones who wiped out the Indians. Maybe their fault was not to teach their children and others who came to the New World who they should be thankful to, but the evolution of the wiping out of the Indians really has nothing to do with the intention of Thanksgiving.

I'm not eating turkey and stuffing with people I know and love, but what's wrong in doing that and being thankful for what we do have, which was the premise of the first Thanksgiving. And because it can't be proven that Turkey and stuffing was even eaten at the first Thanksgiving, then there is nothing wrong with having a fucking SPAM sandwich and watered down Kool-aid as a Thanksgiving dinner. I still give thanks for having a roof over my head, and off the streets where what I had to be thankful for was the big dinner spread that they were having at the Bowery Mission and having chairs that weren't rained on in the Hotel, the front of the New York Public Library, that I could take my Big Fucking Tarp out and sleep under.

I'm happy today and thankful for the friends that I do have, and the love that I feel in my heart. I'm thankful for many things that maybe others may take for granted. I have little, but I'm thankful for the little that I have. So what's really wrong in celebrating this day? I don't know, I see nothing wrong with it. I'm taking a bite out of my sandwich.

Who says that there is nothing to learn on my blog. We're some erudite mother fuckers here. It's the least I can be since I suffer so in social skills. Skills that I'm trying to learn through the use of Facebook.

I go back to the Facebook Feeds.

HobobobSource URL: http://idontwanttobeanythingotherthanme.blogspot.com/2009/11/mouthfull-of-thanks.html
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