Friday, February 12, 2010

Be Vewy, Vewy, Quiet....I'm Hunting Gwoundhog!

    by Joan Kayse


    I’m ready for spring. I want crocus and tulips and forsythias blooming. I want blue skies and Mama robins building nests. I want green grass and budding trees and soft breezes.

    So Mr. Groundhog...you’re toast!

    I know. I know, I know, I know my winter experience has not been of the apocalyptic proportions as Jeanne and Christie and many of our BB’s along the Atlantic seaboard. Here in my part of Kentucky we’ve had intermittent snowfalls. Yesterday’s was a measly 7 inches. On the now popular DC scale that’s a dusting. But the blankety blank stuff won’t stay shoveled! I woke to 2-foot drifts blocking my drive. (Note: There is no such thing as enterprising teens wanting to make some bucks...even the lure of my chocolate chip cookies couldn’t bring them away from their warm, snug Wii consoles.)

    And now our weather guy is saying Sunday we’ll get at LEAST that much more.

    I’m done.

    Was it really only 11 days ago that our friend Punxatawny Phil saw his shadow? Personally, I think it’s a con as any groundhog thrust up into the glare of camera lights is GOING to see his shadow. He didn’t scurry back into his hole because of an impending six more weeks of winter! He had a flashback to those headlights on Route 86 that took his less well known cousin, Pete the Possum, out a few years back.

    Now I wouldn’t really hurt anything furry and cute. After all, Marmota Monax is in the same family as squirrels (rabid squirrel!) and I like them ok. But I figure if we hunt him down and force him to see the error of his ways maybe spring will come next week!

    So Phil...here’s the deal:

    Snow hides the robins. We can’t see them and take comfort in knowing spring will not forget us.

    Cold weather makes skin dry and rough and, well...you just don’t want to be in the Lair with scratchy Banditas. Sven does not have enough lotion.

    No one can see my pedicure in boots up to my knees.

    Snow bleaches everything out...until the traffic comes and then it turns into a black/gray glob that takes until July to melt. And don’t get me started on yellow snow....

    Gray sky is depressing. Throw a little sun our way once in awhile. Oh, but wait. Let me put on these shades because sun plus miles of white snow = blindness.

    So my question for you is, what do you have to say to Phil? What signals the start of spring for you? Whose your favorite Looney Tunes character and last, but not least, who wants to take in an oversized rodent until April?
    Source URL: http://idontwanttobeanythingotherthanme.blogspot.com/2010/02/be-vewy-vewy-quieti-hunting-gwoundhog.html
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