Measurements of Both Scotch and Vodka

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Okay, it's time to get contro- versial here.

It's time I started spouting shit that makes people pissed off with me. Why? Because like I said to you before, I can't live in a world that is a bed of cherries. When things are going peachy I just have to fuck it all up and screw around with it until I break it. Then I can enjoy the crisis of fixing it. Sounds sick, right? Well, it is. However, when did I ever tell you that I was a normal, well adjusted blogger that was unemployed and reclusive in his little room?



So, which foot am I going to stick in my fucking mouth today. Well, today, I'm going to talk about weightlifters. Women weightlifters to be specific, men and women in the general sense. I always wanted to lift weights to tone and define my body when I was younger.  I had barbells and chin up bars at home and I worked on a well crafted body, if I may say so myself. But I was young, with a body that was anxious to snap into place and energy and time to make such work profitable. But at best, all I wanted was a 'swimmer's body'. A lean, toned machine that looked decent in swimming trunks.



But like in everything, every- thing can be taken too far. At present, the best I can think of doing is trying to lose SOME weight, especially since I have been gaining over the winter months. But going back to intense weightlifting...I don't think so. I just don't find OVER bodies attractive. I really don't. Take the female form. Smooth, sleek, curvy, like cottony candy. A woman's body is soft and supple, her skin feels like velvet or silk. She is serene and sylphic and appears as if she was poured from some heavenly vessel.



When a man sees a woman's body there are immediate chemical changes in his body. Things happen instantly and his mind wanders to the sensual. A woman's body is truly a machine that's a work of sheer art to elicit such responses from the opposite sex whenever it is shown. No matter HOW MANY TIMES, you have seen them naked. But then, there is a condition that I like to call OVERBODIED, where men and women weightlifters go OVERBOARD with building their bodies. They take weights and concentrate on areas of their bodies as if there is an underlying hatred of themselves. They attack their muscle groups without mercy to create a freakish rendition of what mother nature made perfect. Take women for instance.



I don't find overbodied women attractive. In fact, I find them to be an oddity. Freaks. Yeah, I said it, and if you are a woman...or even a male powerlifter, you can hate me. I don't like your bodies. Period. I don't. Should you or I lose sleep over this fact? No. Of course not. I don't want to fuck you and you don't want to fuck me, so let's just call it a draw. When I see these women naked, frankly I don't get a hard on. In fact, I feel intimidated. Yeah, I said it. You don't have to whisper it or guess it. I feel as if I'm facing off with A FUCKING MAN! She has lost anything that meant 'FEMALE' and traded it in for SCIENCE FICTION FREAK.

Dudes. I'm talking about you too. Women CAN'T really find you attractive behind this excessive thinking. They just can't. And if they do, if I ever walked into a room and found a dozen or so women hanging gleefully off the beefy forearms and biceps of some muscle head, then so be it. They're freaks too in my book. We can now proceed to wrap all of you motherfuckers up in funny papers and mail you to the nuthouse where I LIVE!



Lets be honest. Beauty is in the eye of the fucking beholder. I understand this, so I'm not really crossing swords with anyone here. Like I always say, I don't care where my friends or relatives, or even my enemies like to stick their dicks or insert into their vaginal cavities and rub against their clitorises. Do what the fuck you please to whomever or whatever you deem sexually stimulating. My only two rules is that 1) it's consensual and 2) no minors are involved. Otherwise, GET YOUR FUCK ON! But I have to admit. I can't bring myself to even touch a woman body builder. It's just too appalling to me to see muscles on a woman. They lose something. Their bodies begin to thin out, like they are dying of some wasting disease, or worse, bulk up, like molding clay slapped onto their frames.



And what happens to their faces when they reach a certain point? Their faces change to some of the most strangest features nearing just plain ugly that I have ever seen. It's like the cocks on male weightlifters. They seem to shrink and wither away as the body becomes more and more formed. Now I don't know this for a fact. I've seen male bodybuilders in photographs wearing skimpy underwear, and their johnsons look like vienna sausages...kind of like mine. But the women, I can see their faces clearly, and it's uncommon for a beautiful woman to be a seriously sculptured weight lifter and stay attractive.



You weight lifters out there. Keep pumping iron for whatever reasons you do. More power to you. I'm just going to try to lose weight, drop a few pounds, make my muscles more prepared to do daily work, because right now, they ain't worth shit. I walked up several flights of stairs today and three blocks and had to stop because I was painfully out of breath. What kind of shit is that? Then, I'm looking for a woman. Not a skinny assed woman and not a overbodied woman. You can keep the both of them. I want a fleshy, somewhat heavy woman that feels like a soft teddy bear or a cushion next to me in bed, or under me fucking, and not like a stack of fucking bricks!



 You women out there with MEAT on those bones of yours...and that's just a nice way of saying FAT, you are fucking gorgeous. Not too much. Don't get like me and go all overboard with the fat shit. Just enough to give you those round, juicy asses, and corpulent tits. Those mad curves to your hips and those soft, angel faces. You are the bomb in my book. And you guys out there. Who gives a fuck about you guys? I'm not gay. You'll have to ask gay guys what looks good to guys. For me, I know what I want. I want clothes to drape on me the right way. That's what I want. That's all I want. Fuck big muscles. I'm almost fifty. I want to exercise my mind, will and morality. Leave it to the kids of the world to run track and surf the waves. I'm a grown assed man.



I lived a long time, and fought a long, hard road to become a man. Well, a destitute, homeless, un- employed, mentally disturbed and solitary man, but a MAN just the same. Fuck you if you think I'm less. You can kiss my big, fat, round ass. I'm on this world for me right now. Give shit a break willya. I can't get behind some of the bullshit that old people are doing to themselves in this day and age to stay young. It's NOT going to happen, no matter how you struggle against it. You are going to get old and feeble. Over the hill. Live with it.  I am.



So, back to female weight- lifters. No. I don't find you hot or neat or anything. Same with you guys. I'm just more careful with weight lifting guys because they might take offense and snap my neck or some shit like that. Hey, maybe some of those women can do the same. I don't know, but that's what my mind is thinking when I see you people. You appear to me like something that I'll have to fight for survival. I don't want to fuck you. I don't want to touch you, and I can hardly look at you. Am I mad with you? Maybe. I'm mad with myself often, so WHY NOT YOU?!



I just want to be a hobo for the rest of my life. I just want to deal with a day at a time and maybe, just maybe, find that one woman that makes me want to give it all up for something close to perfection. That's what I think bodybuilders, Me, men, women, astronauts, politicians, artists, singers, moms and dads all want that makes us all the same.

Perfection.

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