Can You Tell Me Why?

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Something is wrong with me now.

Although I've always known this for some time, especially with the hyper-ism, which is slowly dying out, being replaced with a mechanical efficiency. Like a carousel, moving, moving, moving, not spinning, spinning, spinning, but turning, turning, turning. Constantly moving, but not frantically. My metabolism has caught up with me also. I'm almost always hungry, but not hungry for a lot of food. I am now in full OCD mode. I have a serving spoon, and I spoon out one or two spoonfuls of food whenever I'm hungry, which seems to be the instant that I wake up.



And I sleep about six or seven times a day from anywhere between 15 or 20 minutes to half an hour to an hour. Which one will it be, well it's a pop fly, you know? I just know that these naps never exceed four hours total. Mainly around two or three. But every time I get up, I have to have three spoonfuls of food, two types. No more, no less. Crazy right? I'm losing it here in this tiny room. But I feel soooo much better now that my lowered dosage of WELLBUTRIN has cut the frenzied nature of my existence. I feel good still being productive, but now, like I said, its a measured, methodical approach.



Eating my food though is stranger than usual. Have you ever tasted your salt? Have you? I love salt. I mean, if I could afford it, I would hang a salt-lick on the wall like they do in boxcars for cows. I just love the flavor of salt. Food tastes flat without it. You can season it to your heart's desire, it'll still taste bland to me unless you cover it with hot sauce or salt. And if you put both on the meal, I'm in heaven.



But have you ever used Diamond Crystal as opposed to Red Cross Salt? Okay, here's the scoop, and then I'm WALKING AWAY from this post to keep it fucking short! I'm getting tired of looking up and seeing a manifesto behind me. I apologize. It's because of my racing thoughts, which by the way, are still fucking running in circles like a hamster on a wheel with a lit match up it's asshole.



But going back to fucking salt! Now I used Diamond Crystal one month or maybe two months because I like that it was ground into near powder, and that it clung to your food. But have you really tasted it? I mean, I was using it and my food still tasted good, but there was a slight 'wang' to it. It bothered me, so I put a mound of it in my palm and licked it. Shit, it tasted metallic, like I sucked on a penny, or licked the asshole of a machine. It was the weirdest tasting salt that I've ever had in my life.



Then afterward, when I used it, it made my food taste so funny I could barely eat it. I had to throw the container of salt out because I just couldn't use it, and I didn't know anyone to give it to. In fact, I didn't just throw it out, I sat it on top of the garbage can in the hall, just in case someone wanted to use it. I should have put a label on it that said: "free mechanical tasting salt," but I didn't. I just left it there.



So then I went to the salt that I was raised on, Red Cross Salt. Now I know why that shit is called RED CROSS SALT, because you need Red Cross workers if you use this mother fucker. I mean it's the mother of all salt. I sprinkled just a little on my food, just like I would Diamond Crystal. DON'T FUCKING DO THIS. My food was so salted that when I chewed it, it crunched. The taste of the salt rushed right through my mouth and up my tongue like an eighteen wheeler's wheels skidding down the length of it. Shit, gawddamn! I'd rather bite into a hand grenade.



Then I put a little in my palm and tasted it, and it tasted just like salt, but A LOT OF SALT. This shit is what they must MAKE SALT FROM. They take Red Cross Salt, put it in a machine, divide it in half and cut it with something inert, like flour or chalk dust and grind it down to make Diamond Crystal. This shit made sea salt taste like a fucking LAKE salt, or maybe even KIDDIE POOL salt. So now, to put this shit on my food, I put a little in my palm and then pinch a bit between two fingers and rub it over my food. Once that shit is finished I'm fucking DONE.



So now, with that Red Cross Salt, I have to take that shit easy. I'm trying to get through this container and not leave it on top of the garbage can outside. I'm measuring it out carefully because the next salt I'm going to go for is Sea Salt. Sea salt is probably the best salt ever. But you need a grinder because sea salt are crystals the size of teeth! Try to sprinkle that shit on your food. All you'll need is four or five crystals on your plate as you eat. What you do is take a bite of food and then bite into the salt grain like you would a grape or apple and then chew your food and the salt together.



I can't do that. In closing, I went into a hardware, junk store, you know those stores, those stores that have everything. Everything, like pots, pans, bathroom caulk, garbage cans, dishware, dildoes and asshole lube. I go through this place and found a great sea salt grinder and looked it over top to bottom, then the shelf that I got it from, up and down, finally the rest of them on the shelf and all I could find for the price was a fucking bar code. So of course I take it up to the counter anyway. The fucking thing is no bigger than my hand, made of glass with a metal turn top and grinder gear at the bottom. Nice, neat, special. The guy runs the fucking bar code under the laser scanner and says to me "Twenty Five Dollars."



Whaaaat? Oh HELL no. You've got to be kidding me. The guy has the nerve to catch an attitude. "Yeah, Twenty Five Dollars." Yeah, right. No wonder you guys don't have the price anywhere near the damn things, because no one would bring them shits up to the counter. How do you think people can read bar code dude? "Do you want it?" HELL no. "Then go then!" Yeah, I'm getting out of here because I ain't got no bar code scanner. I love to use double negatives when I get pissed off. I will go out of my way to use a useless sentence just to say shit like, "I ain't got no," or "No, not having that!" I just love the ghetto vernacular sometimes.



Well, the next time I get my hands on some dinero, I'm going to get a salt grinder and sea salt and put this Red Cross shit on top of the garbage can. I wonder what people will start to think seeing salt all the time near the trash. Maybe I'm like that Salt Monster in Star Trek. Do you remember that episode? When I was a kid, that monster kept me up at night. I was so frightened of it that I couldn't go to sleep just in case it came in with those suction cup fingers, covered my face and sucked all of the salt out of my body.



I guess I'm a salt monster now that I'm older. I turned into that which I feared.

Red Cross salt is some difficult shit though. It's not my fault.

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