A Message From the Newsdesk at HBNN

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Hey all of you lovely crack addicts! It's me, your favorite news reporter Eileen Ko Holle here with more news than you can stuff in your ass. Yeah, remember we have that crazy assed news that no one else has the balls to report, and here in HBNN, even though Hobobob has balls the size of ball bearings, we have some pool ball packing motherfuckers up in this bitch! I know. I won a bet the other day in the pool hall down the street that I could fit three of them shits in my mouth. I couldn't get them out though. Had to go to the hospital and have my jaws shot up with muscle relaxer. Everyone was throwing junk in my gaping mouth all the way home.



But enough about me, here's the fucking news. McDonald's in taking an enormous hit from Burger King's damn Bacon Bra Broiler have devised a way of playing catch up on the fast food stage. A brand new way to eat McDonald's food. The first is called the McDonald's Cock Shake. This is only a drive through order and has a great dispenser that goes super with a good meal at lunchtime. All you do is swipe you credit card behind Ronald's ear and then don't act like you fucking don't know what to do next. You did it to that guy in his car Thursday night after he drove you home from the bar. In less than a minute you're hit in the mouth with the hot, sudsy Ronald Milk Shake. Just swallow it down....like you always do, and enjoy. Ronald thinks that this tactic will be the perfect counteraction to the largely male patrons eating the Bacon Bra Broiler to have the women patrons go to Mcdonald's instead for the tasty shakes. Go after those great shakes grrrls!



But not to be caught without more on their menu, McDonald's is also unveiling at the same time the McDonald's Zombie Meal. More meat than you can eat. What happens is that you pay for your meal, then they take you in the back and you get bit by a zombie. Then you are dressed in a Ronald McDonald costume and sent out into the back alley to eat the sleeping homeless and any women giving guys they've just met blowjobs! You'll enjoy hot juicy meats and other things, what the fuck they are, I don't fucking know, but this will indeed be the best meal that you'll ever eat, because when you are finished you catch a bullet in the fucking head. Yeah, they'll blow your zombie brains all over the walls. Not that I didn't tell you so, but it will be the best meal you will ever eat.

McDonald's hopes this meal will gain traction will all of the senior citizens who hate life and don't mind ending it for the unfortunate others of society before going the way of their loved ones themselves. Hell, I wouldn't mind having one myself the next time I catch my boyfriend saying hello to some chick on her knees in a back alley after buying her a drink. But that's besides the point. Steven Halpern, mastermind behind these wonderful meals said that he got the idea after watching porn on cable. Porn? Well, good luck with that shit Steven.

Well, these sound like some tasty eats don't they Bad Brad? What do you think?



Makes me *burp* sick to my *errg* stomach.
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