I keep sleeping.
I can't help it. I'm always yawning, eyes start rolling, crossing. Shit. It's a pain in the ass. I actually crawl into bed and I'm out in seconds. I sleep for an hour or two and then get up and get right behind the computer, surfing. I wonder if this is a side effect from the LUVOX?
I'm surprised how the LUVOX is fitting into my world. I don't have that spaced out feeling that I did the last time. I'm feeling kind of restful. I'm not hopping up and down but instead I'm quite calm, cool and collected. Although it's funny just how tired I get. It's a powerful need for sleep that comes from nowhere.
I get up and take a shower, get dressed and get ready to go to my MRI. I make a copy of the paperwork and then head off. When I get to the building, just off from Columbus Circle, it's kind of like a maze to find and the door is locked. You have to knock to get in. There is a fairly large reception area right to the right of the entrance, filled with women, three of them, behind computers, looking like a control center, or the cock pit of some futuristic space ship. I am addressed and my paperwork taken. I am asked to take a seat. I do. I ruminate. Why in the world do they need THREE women behind the reception desk. What are they, some kind of hive mind? I mean, they ask me my insurance and when I tell them, two of them have to commiserate before returning to me, asking me to take a seat.
I'm suddenly called again, and I'm ready for the MRI. The mouthpiece of the hive mind tells me that I will not have the procedure today, but on Wednesday. That's fine, I say, and I hand over my copy of the paperwork. Can someone please state that I was here at this time and date? The hive mind roll their chairs back in unison, literally putting their heads together. They behaved so frightened it was as if I leveled a gun at them.
The mouthpiece of the hive mind rolls back cautiously to the reception desk. "I'm sorry but we can't do that because there was no service performed on you." I'm not asking for when service was performed, I just need something stating that I was here in writing. "I'm sorry, Sir. We can't do that." I grumble. A lotta good this shit is going to do me. I walk off, thinking, what the fuck am I going to do now?
It's just that. I have no documen- tation for these fucks in the morning. Now what the fuck am I going to do??? Hmmmm. Fucking Forgery! That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to forge some documentation. I smile because it's so decadent. I feel like I'm in school, forgering a doctor's note for the teacher. And secondly, I'm not going in tomorrow because I'm going for a blood test and a session, so, bye bye birdy. I'm going to always schedule something over my WEP assignment. Fuck these people.
I head home, tired, and as soon as I get home I jump behind the computer, and shortly after that, fall asleep. The weird thing is that I wake up two hours later and in 30mins I'm crawling back into bed bed for another and another, and another two hour nap. Finally around 8:00 or 9:00 my body decides to call it quits.
In the morning, I can only tell you that I was not myself. No, not at all. I was experien- cing the world completely differently. It was as if all the noise in my head, all the banging and clanging, had been turned down. A big volume dial on the back of my skull was switched to a much lower setting. There was a big cloud in my head which made my head ache, and left me somewhat dizzy, but I dealt with it.
Everything seemed different to my senses. Everything was much more clearer, much more under- standable... so new. I was as if I was on a drug that raised my consciousness. I jump on the Internet as soon as I'm on my feet and send out emails and jump on my blog. I wanted to process these feelings flowing into me, through me, quickly. I'm feeling pretty good suddenly. I think that the LUVOX has finally built up in the bloodstream, in the brain. I suddenly have no more anxieties, nervousness, or fear of the future. Strangely I feel better. I can actually feel the vice-grip like hold of the LUVOX in my head. I'm thinking through it not around it. It's just a very strange feeling. Unlike before, this is nothing to be afraid of. In fact, I'm interested in taking it 'outside' with me to see how I feel.
This feeling is a familiar one to me. It's the feeling that I get when I'm high. Except this time I can actually think clearer through it. It is indeed a very strange feeling.
Alright already! I know it's a strange feeling!
Just thinking.
HobobobSource URL: http://idontwanttobeanythingotherthanme.blogspot.com/2009/07/bunch-of-raised-consciousness.html
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