Happiness Cannot Be Measured

I am so stoned...

That I could barely see. I was blistered. I got tired of my day, packed my roscoe and went to the bathroom with the huge window, sat my ass on the sill and blew out my brains. I was stoned before I could get back to my room. I couldn't even open the door. After five minutes outside in the hall, and close to giving up, my door opens and in I go. I eat fruit when the munchies kick in full force and surf...or try to surf. I do NOT write emails, because I know exactly where that gets me...in deep, deep trouble. It's not that I am insulting to people, or don't know how to talk, it's just that I get stupid and do not know how to talk.

That's generally what happens when I get lifted. Today, I just mellow out and soon pass out, my night moves quickly. Again, I suffer from broken sleep. Walking up every hour on the hour, starting at 3:00am and continuing with this nonsense until about 6:00am, where I get up and get ready. I take a hot shower and get dressed. It's going to be an early day today because my MRI is scheduled for 8:45am, which means I can't fuck around this morning. I shoot out and down the Way to 59th street, where I go to PWR, Park West Radiology and fill out my forms. Today, the hive mind is not there. It's just one receptionist.

After I finish the paperwork, another woman comes out and explains to me that her technician is not in today and that I'll have to come in another day. I ponder over this...Tomorrow is my WEP: assignment in the morning, I have my session with Dr. D in the afternoon. This is beautiful. I have another full day without the Roach motel giving me shit. I ask for tomorrow morning and they schedule me for 9:30am to my amazement and joy. Somebody up there loves me.

I skip out of PWR and walk uptown, from 59th street to 96 street. Not a mean feat, although it took me less time than I thought it would. I was amazed when I got close to home and I was not even tired. I am strong enough to walk that far, I should be strong enough to start jogging around the block, or even with Dr. A. I just don't like the stress that jogging puts on the knees.

The rest of the day I melted away, happy that I will not have to go to my WEP assignment for another week in a row. I know that some of this shit is going to catch up to me, I know it. But until then, it's party time!!

Wish me luck, I'm going in to get my MRI in the morning. That's when I check my schedule....
I have my recertifi- cation of my Benefits tomorrow. Before they were done at the Mines of Moria, but now there is a new place way out in Long Island City that I'll have to go to. I'll have to make it out there in the morning, and that shit is fucking far away. DAMN! My MRI is pushed back again. It's a bummer having one's scheduler at home. You still have to memorize all of your appointments. I thought I had another day before that damn recert. In another Mines of Moria, but this time in Queens, or something revamped and futuristic and most of all, efficient. One can dream can't one?

I'm pissed about my MRI. I have to stop smoking that dope.

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