Saturday, February 7, 2009

I Try To Whisper


    I find my ass in Starbucks again.

    Wow, if I don't get my Internet connection back up I'm going to be giving a fortune over to Starbucks. Their food is outrageously expensive. In dollars AND calories. I have to have a turkey sandwich though. 500 FUCKING CALORIES, at $5.75. WOW. No wonder I had so much money the past few weeks. I haven't been in Starbucks. We HAVE to get my Internet connection back up. We HAVE to.

    My brother is there already, and I sit across from him. He's into his new laptop like I was when I first got mine. What am I talking about? I'm that way now! I lean forward over my keyboard and bang away. While working, Electra strolls in silently, takes a seat and stays for an hour or two before she strolls back out again, without saying a word. I'll have to talk to her when I get the chance. One day I'll be here and she will have a seat at a table, and I'll plop down across from her and ask her what's up. When someone has something to say to me I usually let THEM TELL ME, instead of my having to ask them or figure out METASPEAK if they don't want to tell me directly. I'm atrocious at these kinds of things.

    We, OBSIDIAN and I, work until they close down Starbucks. Then we head to Grand Central where we go our separate ways. When I get home, there are only four out of five bars on the modem, which in hardware translation means DOWN. No Internet tonight. Because the bars aren't labeled I don't have a clue what they mean. Modems are supposed to have a different light for different things so that you can troubleshoot errors. Well, I get ready to settle in, hit the bathroom, and on coming out and putting the key in my lock I hear my name called out. I freeze. Coming up the hall towards me is Igor. "Hey, you're home!" Yeah Igor, I'm home. "You're supposed to come down to my place tonight, remember?" I glanced at my watch, the time now is almost Eleven. You've got to be kidding, I say. He is crestfallen. "Well I took you on your word that you would come down." Alright, I'll be down in a minute, I reluctantly concede.

    I get inside my room. FUCK. Why couldn't I be in my room before he came down. I could have said that I'm in bed. Well I head downstairs to the seventh floor, I'm on the eighth. Walking down the hall to Igor's apartment a man emerges from the door to my right, way up ahead. He strolls past me, while a troll comes out of the room, looking behind him, and then looks at me approach. "Who is this?" She garbles as if she has a mouthful of marbles. "Sumbody that lives down here?" I continue to stroll in her direction, and glance over her head at her and inside her apartment where another man is sitting on her bed, she's no doubt talking to him. "He's sumbody new. I don't wreck-o-nize him. He's prob-blee one of those new people from that 'House'". I stroll past her retarded ass and I hear her door close behind me. Great. I don't want her crazy ass to see where I'm going.

    I reach Igor's room and he invites me into a messy duplicate of my own. Only he has a window view. I look on the floor and he has the same cable modem as mine also. I ask him has experienced outages lately. "No, none." That's just great, they are fucking with my connection alone. Typical. I sit down on Igor's bed while he turn up the volume on his television. "Watch much television? What are your favorite shows?" I don't watch any television, I tell him. Then he gets hyper running about his room. He reaches down and snatches up a pack of pencils. "Do you want some pencils?" No thank you. "Want me to call for some dinner?" No thank you. I ate already. "I didn't eat because I was taking you at your word that you would be coming tonight." Well, order yourself something to eat guy. He opens his refrigerator. "Do you want some ground coffee?" Naaah. "It's Starbucks dark roast." Starbucks? I think. Well good, why not, I say, reaching out for the pack of coffee that is a quarter filled with ground coffee.

    While he looks around for more things to offer me I notice that his modem also has four bars. Four bars? Just like mine. Hmmmm. Now I can't wait to get home. Igor plops down on his bed, landing right next to me so close that our thighs touch. What? I frown. My gay meters fly. We watch a bad accident show on the History Channel. He pats me tenderly on the back. "I love it when you come down here." Wha? "I really love it when you come down here." Be still my meters, I think.Well thanks, I reply.

    He leans close, "You don't watch television because it talks to you?" What's that Igor? "Does the television talk to you? It's talks to me." No, chief, the television does not talk to me. I standing up finally, I head for the door, looking at my watch. It's Midnight. Time to go Igor. He says goodbye, and then talk about sports and asks question. "Let's check the Internet." I feel sorry for the guy so I sit back down, we surf the web. Now that's what I call Internet addiction. I must really have it. After ten minutes again, I stand and say goodnight. This time I leave.

    "Hey, come back tomorrow!" I have something to do tomorrow. "Come back Sunday." I don't know, I've had shit to do on Sunday. I'm not making any promises. "Alright." I'm already down the corridor and hitting the stairs. I thought the crazy bitches on the eighth floor was bad enough. The ones down here are even crazier. Ignorant motherfuckers.

    I assemble my gear on my desk and plug in the Internet. I have four bars still. Up pops YAHOO! My heart almost breaks with joy. I hop online right away and start pounding on that fucking keyboard, trying to beat my own body clock. However, my body won out an I have to stop for sleep. Little do I know, again I will only get three hours of sleep. Again, I wonder why?

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