The Quest for Discipline

by Tawny


Ahhhh, Discipline. Not the spanking kind (altho that might be an interesting blog, huh?) I'm thinking about the focused, do what you have to do to achieve what you want to achieve kind of thing.


Now, I thought I had a pretty good grip on this discipline thing. I'm a goal guru, for one. I know inside out the wonders of setting a goal, applying SMART rules to it and the wonders of deadlines. These were tools I learned and honed long before I sold my first book, all in my quest to make sure I could handle the dream I was shooting for --a prolific career of 3-4 books published a year.


So it's not the goal setting that's tripping me up this week.


It's the discipline itself. The day to day ins and outs of doing that necessary work.



I'ts like losing weight... I know what I have to do, I just can't make myself do it. Yes, it's going to take 10 hours of exercise a week for me to see the scale budge. I've proven this to myself many times over the years. And yet the best I'm logging on the elliptical is 2 hours, max, each week. Why? I know better, how can I moan and whine when I know what it takes?


But it's harder and harder to get myself focused. To care about that goal of fitting in the favorite pair of jeans gathering dust on the back of my door in psuedo inspiration. I feel like I've been fighting against it so long, it no longer has that golden glow of achievability.


And the longer I fight- and don't achieve my goal - the more it seems impossible. The less energy I have to put toward it, and the less faith I have that I'll ever achieve it (yes, I could be talking about writing here, but I'm really thinking of my weight loss fight... you can substitute writing if you want, though *g*). I've steadily gained weight since I started writing (okay, so maybe you can't substitute writing in this part LOL) and am so frustrated with this struggle, I just want to beat my head on the table. The table with no food on it, because I've restricted my eating so much I'm exisiting on air these days. It's a study in frustration and the easiest answer is to just buy bigger jeans... but I don't want to. Instead, I seem to want to keep myself in this miserable quest for the right key that will unlock my missing discipline.


Then, at my chapter meeting on Saturday the speaker, the amazing Stephanie Bond, mentioned weight and sitting metobolism. Widening asses seem to go hand in hand with writing, sadly. She fights it by taking her Alphasmart on the treadmill with her. I, the one who breaks my foot walking out the front door, am terrified to try this idea.


But it did get me thinking. There have to be other ways to respark my excitement and belief that the goal is achievable. There have to be other ideas that I can mine for discipline and focus that will help me on my way back into those jeans.


So... I'm begging for help. Inspiration, ideas, suggestions for finding that fabled discipline to lose weight. Or, barring that, diet and exercise tips *g*
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