Monday, January 12, 2009

Guilt

    by Susan Sey

    And yes, when I forget to write my post & leave the Golden Rooster standing around, tapping his claw, giving me squinty eyed looks, the first desperation topic that comes to mind is guilt.

    But that's okay. Because I'm a stay at home mom (my full time job) & a writer with a contract & deadlines & everything (my part time job). I also have a husband who would like to see me from time to time, & friends & family who I enjoy quite a lot & would like to spend time with, too. I'm intimately familiar with guilt & figure I will be until somebody invents that time turner thing from Harry Potter that would let me jump back & forth in time so I could be several places at once & get it all done.

    Is it bad that my first thought is, "Wow, think of all the laundry I could fold!"

    I don't know about all of you, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of things I have to accomplish during the day. None of them are even of grand importance, aside from keeping the kids from killing themselves. It's more like being pecked to death by ducks. A vast number of small, inconsequential but necessary things that MUST be done or the household will cease to function.

    Like dishes. Laundry. Grocery shopping. Bill paying. Checkbook balancing. Vaccuuming. (Okay, that's one's not so necessary. I skip it a lot.) Deciding what to cook for dinner. Writing a few pages, or even a paragraph every now & then just to keep my hand in.

    Then I look at women who do everything I do AND hold down a job outside the home. A high-powered, impressive, takes-a-lot-of-brain-power sort of job. And I feel like a bigger loser than I already am.

    Then I talk to those women & find out they feel exactly the way I do. Guilty. They want to spend more time with their kids & less time chasing paper.

    So is there any answer? Any magic formula to getting it all done & still having a shred of sanity left? Or at least a few minute to sit down with a really good book?Source URL: http://idontwanttobeanythingotherthanme.blogspot.com/2009/01/guilt.html
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