What Makes You Happy?

My question to you is what makes you happy?

Have you ever thought of that? Here, Christmas is over, New Years is just around the corner, and my question to you is: What the fuck makes you happy? Did you get that stupid assed gift that you wanted. That trinket that will be lost or set aside before 2009 is out? Did you get that toy that you'll break in a month's time, or search for something else? Did you get that big time promotion that will turn into a pink slip the way that our economy is going? Did you get that dream car, dream vacation, dream drug, or dream item like that dream pen or watch that will turn into a nightmare before long? Did you get that piece of ass or that dick that you wanted?? What the fuck makes you happy??

That's an important mother- fucking question, because you have to realize something. Happiness is fleeting. It comes and goes like the wind. It's not made to be forever. So you don't have long, by definition. You don't have 'Time on Your Side", as the Rollin' Stones once sang. You may get close to what you want, but if you don't 'say what it is that you want, you may not get what you want. You may come up goose egg. That's my problem.

I have a short fucking list of wants, very short, but I don't know all the time how to go about getting them. I don't know where to go all of the time to ask for them. But sometimes I get happy. Sometimes things just fall into my lap and I luck the muckety fuck out. Do you ever get heart stroke lucky? Do you ever find yourself staring at something that you didn't know you'd ever get to stare at like some damn fool? Like a woman's perfect ass in your face? Or something on a man for all you ladies out there. That shit I can't help you with, I've never seen anything on a man to make me stare other than a weapon.

But as I was saying, it was insanely happy. I should have been drooling like a damn fool, I was so much so. But I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't know where to take it. All I could do was to be amazed and awed by my good fortune. I NEVER ONCE ASKED why can't I have this ALL OF THE TIME?? What is all that wrong in wanting?? As long as I ask for what I want and not to be so presumptuous as to take, I am not harming anyone.

I want to reach out, close my hands on what makes me happy and hold it close to my breast and never let go. I can be more happy than anyone I know, it's just only appears to me now in small bits. Little drops from the fruit of life. Nothing lasting, nothing for long.

That's why I ask you. What the fuck makes you happy, and what is it that stands in the way of your getting it? Someone else, or you? Is it a million dollars? A billion dollars that would make you happy? Well, I feel sorry for you. Joy, real joy, is not material, or materialistic. If you want things that money can buy you'll never be really happy. Sorry, but that's the cruel joke there. I didn't make that shit up. I think it was Jesus that said that one. Blame JC for being the practical joker.

What the fuck makes you happy, dood, and doodette? Being young again? That'll only make you stupid, besides the fact that that's fucking impossible. You're just making happiness an impossibility for yourself. Think smarter or be a miserable old fuck.

What the fuck makes you HAPPY!!! To vanquish your enemies? That's pretty sad to find enjoyment in the suffering of others. Wouldn't it rather have been better to ask for peace with your enemies? Something inside of you is lopsided if that's what you want. You'll never be happy. Go kill yourself.

I'm only going to ask you once more, what the fuck makes you happy? The sound of your children playing.

You my friend obviously understand true happiness. You've got it. You'll find exquisite joy in life and those like you who share the same sentiments. Those of you who would like good or reasonable health, especially if you are in poor health, you too may find true happiness. Those of you who understand that happiness is the outside exertion of something truly beautiful, like a song to the ear, or beauty to the eye. It's the flavor of life, the innocent, free things. The things that you enjoy by taking it in through all of the five senses, not just the eye, like greed; the mouth, like slander; the ears like gossip; the nose like cocaine; or the hands like stealing. It is the incredible joy that the living brings to your life. Her beautiful hair beneath your nose, the touch of his skin, the smell of the newborn, the peal of children's laughter, the taste of food prepared by loving hands.

You understand that?

Me, you ask? What about me? Do I understand what the fuck I'm talking about? Well pal, I'm a true hobo. I've had everything stripped from me. I've lived on the streets, I've ate hand me down food and worn hand me down clothes. And when your only other choice is to have your ass out in the streets, you are happy that you have them. Happy for hand me down clothes. Think about that.

I've had a million happinesses. But I was made ecstatic by just one gift that I'll keep to myself for now. You'll never understand it because you don't know of it. You only have a vague impression of how my mind works. But I was damn fool happy for a short period, and hopefully it will not be the last.

The next time though, I'm going to open my mouth. The next time I'm going to take a stand and say my peace, or pieces. Whichever way the cake falls or the cookie crumbles, I'll not say goodbye to such exquisite happiness a second time with my fucking mouth closed. I'm growing tired of cuffing my hands behind my back, gagging my mouth, blind folding my eyes.

Everything bubbles to the top sooner or later. People who hate you will soon kill you, people who love you will fuck you. People who want to replace you will do you in, and people who want to aid you certainly will. What's inside of me will bubble up too. Sooner or later. And it will do the same for you. Just be ready for it and stop fooling yourself.

Whatever it is that makes you happy, enjoy it, and if you don't have it, I hope you get it in 2009.

Except for you people who want to harm others. Go kill yourselves.

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