Pre Frontal Dreaming

Do you know what it's like to wake up with your stomach churning?

Boiling like a cauldron is more like it. I rise, slip on slacks, sweater and slippers. TAKE THE KEY, and TP and head to the john. COLCHICINE. I think I'll stop taking it today. I've had about all of the nausea, loose stool, lack of appetite and stomach upset, that I can take. I'm just about finished. My foot feels fine. No more pain. It's incredible what we go through, or what we will put ourselves though, just to escape pain. Shit, my foot had me so on the ropes, I would have taken straight rat poison to get rid of the pain. The effects of COLCHICINE is not all that bad when compared.

But I hate squirming all day, which is what I do when my stomach is upset. There is no TUMS or any antacid to help me with this. This drug induced suffering.There is only riding it out. I'm just glad that COLCHICINE also does away with your appetite. The logic of nothing going in, nothing coming out, applies here.

My dream last night surrounded a building, or rather, a tall, three story brownstone. From it's construction to its demolition, I had everything to do with it. I had a store in it, a home in it, children in it, grew old in it. It was a constant feature in an otherwise ever changing dream. I wonder what the brownstone represented. If one would try to psycho-analyze this, one would suppose that the building represented someone. Some one strong, hale and tall. Having children it it would make it a woman. Being a store, I had invested greatly in her emotionally, being a home, I had found solace and peace with her, and growing old in it, I had to therefore grow old with her until the demolishing or death parted us.

Yeah, I believe in reading dreams. It takes me a minute or two but I can usually come away with two or three interpre- tations. The other could be a job with the same attributes. A good steady job. Tall?? Hmmm, doesn't seem to quite fit there. I could raise children from the income. A job that I invested a great deal of time in. A job I found to be peaceful, and grew old until the company closed down.

Not as good a fit as a woman. My hobo soul is no doubt preparing me for something substantial. It's ready for something, yearning I would say. I am being prepped in the dreamstate. Three stories. I wonder what that means? Three feet tall. Three inches taller than me? Three aspects to her personality? Three eyes in her head?? Three issues she's no doubt dealing with. Three things that are impressed upon her that she can never do away with. She has three children already! Hmmm, this is interesting. I like complicated dreams.

I never used to believe in dream reading. What does the subconscious mind know? But the truth is that the conscious mind picks up a tremendous amount of data during our daily activities, far more than our general mind can process for use. Data that comes through the peripheral vision, smells, hearing out of range, taste and touch. The brain registers this rich soup of data and processes only a fraction of it for use to use in our daily lives. But we are under the impression that the brain disposes of the rest.

Well, how logical is that, when we only use a fraction of our brain?? What if the greater majority of the unused brain is actually used to store this voluminous amount of data for later retrieval. And in storing it, when we are sleep, it goes through its random computations that create dreams. What if this random activity is not so 'random' as we once thought. What if, like in a computer, this data is stored away quite logically, and sometimes this random computation follows this orderly storage pattern. What if, a dream is not, all the time mind you, an insane linking of synaptic impulses but one that follows a simple pattern of something we encountered, but didn't process fully? And since this data maybe disjointed or disconnected, the images that are supplied with the simple pattern do not fit exactly.

Dreams don't necessarily see the future as much as they can see 'intention'. As much as they can see unresolved 'conclusions'. As much as they can see that portion of life that we failed to process completely. Our dreams reveal a lot to us, and about us. It's not always what they appear to be, no more than that brownstone was a brownstone. Or any institution an institution, any person a person, any event an event. I like to take apart dreams and reassemble them. With several tries I can come up with some sort of connection, depending on how clear the dream was to the dreamer.

I'm not saying that my conclusion about the brownstone is correct, but it does give me something to dwell on as I go about my daily activities. Because by dwelling on this, I believe that my brain will store this data too, and if it stores away processes as logically as I tend to believe, then this data will go with the data that produced it, and in another dream, maybe, hopefully, this random computation will find this new subset, and process them altogether to give me a clearer picture of just what this meant.

Oh, so you may ask, are you preparing yourself for this mystery woman to come into your life Hobobob? You betcha damn skippy. I'm a boyscout. "Always be prepared motherfucker!"

Besides, this sounds like a long ways off. Something must develop. Right?

But it's good to dream sometimes, awake or asleep.

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