The Internet.
What more does a man need. I'm sitting in a room with my laptop, on the Internet. I have no phone, wall phone or cell, I have no television, I have no woman. I'm without alcohol or a joint to make time fly. I'm without any stimulus, virtually without anything. All I have is the Internet. Yes, in my room at long last. I look under my single desk in the room. The lights on the cable modem and on the wireless router are blinking non stop. Comforting view watching small blue and green lights flash.
What's even more pleasant is see the YAHOO webpage on my browser. I put on Internet radio and I'm happy. Yes, I'm talking about happiness a lot lately because, remember what I said to you, it's fleeting. Happiness is here today and definitely gone tomorrow. So you'd better enjoy it while you can. Hey, it's not hard. A great big happiness for too long with stop your heart, that's why great orgasms are over and done with quickly. Any longer and you'll die. Or snap a twig in your head and come away thinking you're John 'the wad' Holmes.
No, forget that, what I'm saying is that there are few 'great big happi- nesses' and many little things that make us happy. We just overlook the little things. Like a hot shower, or catching a series of subway trains in quick succession with no waiting. Little things. I would like everyone to be happy. We all, no matter where we are on the social ladder, have that right and ability. There's no denying that. And as we move forward into these uncertain economic times, hardships will be ahead. I look at the ultimate hardship, like becoming homeless, and I have to say, I was happy even when I was that.
Today, I have headshrink number three, the wonderful Nurse G. You know, she is alright. I'm beginning to warm up to her. That's why I canceled for today. I just didn't feel like it. I really didn't. I sat in my underwear all day, in front of my laptop and didn't move my ass except to exercise. I didn't even make a lunch. Coffee for breakfast...oh, I had ramen noodles for lunch, and sleep. I fell back to sleep because I was too tired to look at the screen and then for dinner I actually cooked. I made fresh spinach and broccoli, with...ramen noodles! Yeah, those ramen noodles go a long way to make a hearty meal on a budget. A caloric budget that is.
Yeah, back to counting calories, exercise and an active lifestyle. This is my year to shed the pounds and get into fighting trim by summer. It's do-able. The only thing that can stop me is me.
I think this as I sit in front of my laptop, in the heat of my room. I have an entire year to change things. I have an entire year to do something other than the SAME EXACT THING that I did last year. Trust me, I don't see that as happening. I'm going to push, even if it's just a little. Start one thing and finish one thing. Just that little plan. Not too much, not too big. Just the germ of a plan to do something. Plans, like seeds in the fertile Earth, tend to grow. That's my plan, as I stare into my laptop, my mind moving at a distance just above it, churning on a sonnet.
That's my plan.
HobobobSource URL: http://idontwanttobeanythingotherthanme.blogspot.com/2009/01/plain-old-requiem.html
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